A 25-year-old woman and her partner moved into a competitively priced apartment in a 1920s building promoted as a "quiet community," but soon experienced repeated harassment from an upstairs neighbor. Loud stomping and anonymous notes escalated to personal, misogynistic attacks directed at the woman. Other tenants reported similar notes, and a former resident allegedly broke her lease over the harassment. The couple reported the incidents to property management and sought advice online about confronting the neighbor versus waiting for management to act.
Couple’s Dream Apartment Becomes a Power Play: ‘Misogynistic’ Neighbor Leaves Threatening Notes and Stomps Ceiling
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A young couple’s excitement about moving into a roomy, well-priced apartment in a 1920s building quickly soured after repeated harassment from an upstairs neighbor. What began as loud stomping that startled them into silence escalated to anonymous notes — then to personal, misogynistic messages directed at the woman.
What Happened
The woman, 25, wrote on Reddit that she and her partner — both introverted, neurodivergent professionals — moved into a unit advertised as part of a "quiet community." During their first week, they were speaking at a normal volume in their bedroom when the upstairs neighbor repeatedly stomped on their ceiling so hard it shook the light fixture and forced them silent.
GettyStock image of couple worried.
The stomping recurred, making them afraid to speak after about 10 p.m. To avoid further incidents, they began watching TV with the sound off and relying on subtitles.
Anonymous Notes and Escalation
Anonymous notes appeared on the couple’s door with complaints such as:
GettyStock image of three people arguing.
stop talking so loud
respect quiet time
the walls are thin and your speaking voice can be heard in our apartment
At first the couple tried to accommodate the requests. For a brief moment, a bottle of wine and a note saying 'thanks for being cool' suggested the issue might be resolved. Instead, messages later returned more hostile and personal. One note criticized the woman’s voice as 'extremely high pitched' and 'feminine'; another read, 'how many times do i have to ask before you care.' The woman described those comments as misogynistic and threatening.
A Wider Pattern in the Building
Other tenants reported similar experiences: a downstairs neighbor received notes about her dog (and threats to call animal control), and cleaners found an old note left by a prior tenant that said, 'shut your damn dog up.' The couple learned a previous resident had even broken a lease after receiving threatening notes.
Response and Next Steps
Frightened and feeling controlled in their own home, the couple reported the pattern of harassment and the stomping incidents to the property manager. Unsure whether to confront the suspected neighbor directly — a man in his 30s who ignores the woman in the hallway and stares at her — the woman asked Reddit for advice. One commenter suggested leaving a calm, direct note asking the neighbor to contact them instead of resorting to stomping.
The couple remains in contact with management as they decide what to do if the conduct continues and whether to pursue further action, such as asking management for formal documentation, requesting security or police involvement if threats escalate, or exploring lease termination options if they no longer feel safe.
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