Patrick Clancy Breaks Silence: Says He Considered Suicide After Children’s Deaths, Had Panic Attack While Testifying

Patrick Clancy gave his first television interview since his ex-wife Lindsay’s murder trial when he spoke with 60 Minutes correspondent Ross Douthat. The 38-year-old father described the intense grief that followed the deaths of his three children — Cora, 5; Dawson, 3; and eight-month-old Callan — and the personal toll it has taken on his life.

Grief, Thoughts of Suicide and a Move to New York

Clancy said there was a period after the killings when he seriously questioned whether he would live to see his 35th birthday. "There was a time where I — I didn't think I would live to see my 35th birthday," he told Douthat, adding, "And I was completely fine with it."

He described how staying in Duxbury, the Boston-area suburb where the family had lived, became unbearable. Driving past his children’s school during drop-off convinced him he could not remain there. In April 2023, several months after the killings, he moved to New York City to grieve privately. On what would have been Callan’s first birthday he said the anonymity of the city allowed him to grieve openly: "I light a candle, and I say, 'I love you, buddy.' And I walk out on Fifth Avenue and I start crying my eyes out. And nobody cared."

Testimony, Panic Attack and Ambulance

Clancy returned to Massachusetts in July to testify at his ex-wife Lindsay’s trial. Though he had publicly supported Lindsay in the past, prosecutors called him as a witness. He recounted a sudden medical crisis while he was testifying: just before the court played a 911 call he knew would be traumatic, he went to a back room and experienced a massive panic attack.

Patrick Clancy and his 3 children Cora, Callan and DawsonCredit: GoFundMe

"We did take a break right before they played the 911 call, which I knew was gonna be just horrific. And I went to a back room, and I started having this massive traumatic panic attack," he said.

Medical personnel found his heart "pounding" and he was taken to an ambulance outside the courthouse where staff offered medication. Clancy declined treatment because he wanted to finish his testimony; after taking the stand he left the trial and did not return for the remainder of the five-week proceedings or the subsequent deliberations.

Remembering His Children

During the segment, Clancy showed reporters a playground he built in Duxbury in memory of Cora, Callan and Dawson. He said he still speaks to his children and sometimes experiences vivid, lucid dreams in which they appear.

"I remember early on having a dream, maybe six months or a year after. And I'm in the kitchen at the house, and Cora walks in. And I just look at her and it was, like, I basically just said, 'Where have you been?'" he recalled. "And she comes up to me and gives me a big hug. Those dreams are so real. It's like I'm lucid in those dreams."

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, overwhelming grief, or other mental health challenges, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

Read the original interview on 60 Minutes and reporting from PEOPLE for additional context.