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Roommate Hid Her Grandmother’s Ashes in a Tote to ‘Teach Her a Lesson,’ Tenant Says

A 25-year-old tenant says her 24-year-old roommate, "S," took a small sealed urn holding the poster's grandmother's ashes and kept it in her car inside a grocery tote. S allegedly refused to return the urn until the tenant "learned to let go," and it was recovered only after the tenant threatened to call police. The poster called the act "unforgivable" and is considering moving out; Reddit commenters urged her to document the incident and file a police report.

08:04 PM, 11/23/2025Society
Roommate Hid Her Grandmother’s Ashes in a Tote to ‘Teach Her a Lesson,’ Tenant Says

A 25-year-old woman says she came home to find a small sealed urn containing her late grandmother's ashes missing from her bedroom shelf. The poster, who shared the incident on Reddit, says she lives with two roommates: one she gets along with and another — a 24-year-old she calls "S" — with whom she has clashed before.

According to the tenant, her grandmother died in 2021 and the urn has been kept quietly on a shelf in her room ever since. "It's not flashy or on display," she wrote. "It just brings me comfort."

When she discovered the urn was gone, she says she "tore" her room apart searching and became so panicked she felt physically ill. One roommate helped her look, but S reportedly rolled her eyes and said, "Maybe this is the universe telling you to stop living in the past."

When confronted, S allegedly shrugged and accused her of having "shrine vibes," insisting that "grief shouldn't be decor." She refused to return the urn until the tenant "learned to let go."

The situation escalated after the tenant threatened to call the police. She says S then retrieved the urn from her car trunk — where it had been rolling around inside a grocery tote bag — and handed it back. The tenant was shaking so badly her other roommate took the urn from her hands to prevent it from being dropped.

The poster described S's actions as "unforgivable" and said S has since been telling mutual acquaintances that the tenant "overreacted." Disturbed by what she called a violation of boundaries and a desecration of a deeply personal item, the tenant said she is now looking for a new place to live and asked Reddit whether she should file a police report.

Responses and next steps

Commenters on the Reddit thread urged the woman to document the incident and contact law enforcement, calling the behavior "beyond unhinged" and warning that someone who willfully takes a deceased family member's ashes shows a lack of boundaries and could escalate.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, consider preserving evidence (texts, photos, timestamps and witness statements), securing the item in your possession, and contacting local authorities to report theft or harassment. Legal remedies and tenant protections vary by jurisdiction, so seeking local legal advice may also be prudent.

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