Ruby Chen recounts how his son Itay was kidnapped into Gaza on Oct. 7, 2023 and, though killed that day, could not be buried for more than 760 days until his return in November 2025. Chen credits efforts by President Trump, Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner for securing his son's return but says gratitude does not erase unanswered questions about how the attack happened. He calls for a full inquiry, accountability for those who financed the assault, and expanded regional economic ties to reduce future violence.
We Waited 760 Days to Bury Our Son — A Father's Plea for Answers, Justice and Change
Ruby Chen, left, and Hagit Chen, parents of U.S. citizen Itay Chen – a 19-year-old Israel Defense Forces staff sergeant killed on Oct. 7, 2023 – salute during their son's funeral in Tel Aviv on Nov. 9, 2025, after Hamas returned his remains.
For two years — more than 760 days — Oct. 7 had no address for our family. Our son, Itay, was kidnapped into Gaza on Oct. 7, 2023. Months later we learned he had been killed that morning, yet my wife and I had nowhere to go to be with him until his return in November 2025.
This year is different. On the third anniversary we will finally stand at Itay's grave. For the first time we can sit beside our son, touch the stone that carries his name, and grieve as parents should be allowed to grieve.
I owe this moment to President Donald Trump, to Steve Witkoff and to Jared Kushner, who refused to close the file until Itay, the last American hostage, was returned so he could be laid to rest. They understood an essential promise: America does not leave its citizens behind. My family will never forget their efforts.
Grief without answers is a wound that cannot close.
Even as we feel gratitude, deep questions remain. Nearly 50 American citizens were killed on Oct. 7, 2023 — one of the deadliest assaults on Americans since 9/11 — yet most people do not know that number or the victims' names. Adrienne Neta, Aryeh Ziering and Cindy Flash were Americans, not distant casualties, and their families deserve acknowledgement and answers.
Three years on, no comprehensive accounting has explained how the border collapsed and how so many were murdered and kidnapped. We are profoundly disappointed that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has refused to convene a state commission of inquiry. Without a full investigation, families are left without the truth they need to heal.
At the same time, Washington is beginning to listen. On Sept. 30, Senators Rick Scott (R-Fla.) and Jacky Rosen (D-Nev.) led a unanimous, bipartisan Senate resolution that named the American victims and pledged holistic support and a pursuit of justice for their families.
Justice must also include accountability for those who financed the killings. As the United States considers the fate of frozen Iranian assets, it faces a moral test. Hamas did not arm itself alone; many of us believe Iran funded the assault. Before any funds are released to Tehran, a portion should be set aside to help families of victims of Sept. 11, Oct. 7 and other terrorist attacks, and to make clear that the United States will hold sponsors of proxy violence responsible.
As a father, I also ask a forward-looking question: how do we spare other families the path we walked? Part of the answer lies in expanding economic and diplomatic ties in the region. President Trump's Abraham Accords should be more than a legacy; they can be a living memorial to the Americans killed by those who oppose normalization.
Real economic integration — shared supply chains, trade corridors and projects that create jobs and mobility — gives young people a future worth protecting instead of a cause worth dying for. Every new partnership raises the price of the next war.
On Oct. 7 our family and friends will gather at Itay's grave. I hope that one day we can tell him that his country remembered him, demanded answers, held his killers' patrons to account, and that his sacrifice helped build a Middle East where no parent waits years to bury a child.
About the author: Ruby Chen is the father of Itay Chen, a 19-year-old Israeli-American soldier killed by Hamas on Oct. 7, 2023. Itay was held in Gaza until November 2025 and was the last American hostage to be returned.
Released hostage Alon Ohel, who was kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, reacts upon arrival at Rabin Medical Center-Beilinson Hospital, amid a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Petah Tikva, Israel October 13, 2025.(Stoyan Nenov, REUTERS)
Released hostage Guy Gilboa-Dalal, who was kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, gestures upon arrival at Rabin Medical Center-Beilinson Hospital, amid a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Petah Tikva, Israel October 13, 2025.(Stoyan Nenov, REUTERS)
Released hostage Guy Gilboa-Dalal, who was kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, gestures upon arrival at Rabin Medical Center-Beilinson Hospital, amid a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Petah Tikva, Israel October 13, 2025.(Stoyan Nenov, REUTERS)
Released hostage Alon Ohel, who was kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, reacts upon arrival at Rabin Medical Center-Beilinson Hospital, amid a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Petah Tikva, Israel October 13, 2025.(Stoyan Nenov, REUTERS)
U.S. President Donald Trump reacts as he is applauded at the Knesset on the day he addresses it, amid a U.S.-brokered prisoner-hostage swap and ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, in Jerusalem, October 13, 2025.(Evelyn Hockstein, REUTERS)
A helicopter, carrying released hostages who were kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, lands at Sheba Medical Center, amid a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Ramat Gan, Israel October 13, 2025.(Hannah McKay, REUTERS)
A helicopter, carrying released hostages who were kidnapped during the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas and taken to Gaza, lands at Sheba Medical Center, amid a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Ramat Gan, Israel October 13, 2025.(Hannah McKay, REUTERS)
Freed Palestinian prisoner gestures in a bus after being released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Mussa Qawasma, REUTERS)
A freed Palestinian prisoner is greeted after being released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Ammar Awad, REUTERS)
Freed Palestinian prisoners react in a bus after being released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Mussa Qawasma, REUTERS)
Freed Palestinian prisoners look on in a bus after being released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Mussa Qawasma, REUTERS)
Relatives hug a freed Palestinian prisoner after he was released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Ammar Awad, REUTERS)
Palestinian security forces stand guard as families wait for freed Palestinian prisoners in a bus after being released from an Israeli jail as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramallah, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, October 13, 2025.(Mussa Qawasma, REUTERS)
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer, France's President Emmanuel Macron and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas talk before attending a world leaders' summit on ending the Gaza war, amid a U.S.-brokered prisoner-hostage swap and ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, October 13, 2025.(Suzanne Plunkett, REUTERS)
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Frence's President Emmanuel Macron look on as they wait for the arrival of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, before attending a world leaders' summit on ending the Gaza war, amid a U.S.-brokered prisoner-hostage swap and ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, October 13, 2025.(Suzanne Plunkett, REUTERS)
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Frence's President Emmanuel Macron talk before attending a world leaders' summit on ending the Gaza war, amid a U.S.-brokered prisoner-hostage swap and ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, October 13, 2025.(Suzanne Plunkett, REUTERS)
People gather outside Sheba Medical Center on the day Israeli hostages, held in Gaza since the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas, are released as part of a hostages-prisoners swap and a ceasefire deal in Gaza between Hamas and Israel, in Ramat Gan, Israel October 13, 2025.(Hannah McKay, REUTERS)
Women react at "Hostages Square" on the day Hamas releases hostages, who have been held in Gaza since the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas, as part of a prisoner-hostage swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, in Tel Aviv, Israel, October 13, 2025.(Shir Torem, REUTERS)
People gather at "Hostages Square" in Tel Aviv, Israel, on Oct. 13, 2025, to await the expected return of Israeli hostages, who have been held in Gaza since the deadly Oct. 7, 2023, attack by Hamas, as part of a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas.(Ronen Zvulun, REUTERS)
A man wearing an Israeli flag with a yellow ribbon in the center looks at posters of hostages as people gather at "Hostages Square" to await the expected return of Israeli hostages, who have been held in Gaza since the deadly October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas. The hostages were freed as part of a prisoner-hostage swap and a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas in Tel Aviv, Israel, October 13, 2025.(Ronen Zvulun, REUTERS)
A placard shows an image of slain hostage Idan Shtivi as people gather at "Hostages Square" amid a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, in Tel Aviv, Israel, October 12, 2025.(Hannah McKay, REUTERS)
Hamas terrorists took U.S. citizen Itay Chen, 19, hostage on Oct. 7, 2023. His mother, Hagit Chen, and father, Ruby Chen, worked with families of other hostages to secure their release. But Israeli authorities confirmed on Nov. 4, 2025, that Hamas returned the body of the New York City native. Chen was the last remaining American hostage in Gaza.
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