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Teachers Say Students 'Can't Do Basic Things Anymore' — Educators and Parents Debate How to Teach Independence

07:43 PM, 11/24/2025
Teachers Say Students 'Can't Do Basic Things Anymore' — Educators and Parents Debate How to Teach Independence

Educators and parents on Reddit are debating whether many students lack basic life skills like packing, tying shoes, or coping with disappointment. Commenters argue that allowing kids to face small consequences builds problem-solving and resilience rather than constant parental rescue. Anecdotes — such as a student who learned to pack after running practice in khakis — highlight how simple consequences can create lasting habits. The thread balances empathy for developmental differences with calls for clearer expectations and practical parenting solutions.

Teachers and parents on Reddit have been debating a common classroom complaint: many students today seem to lack basic life and school skills, from packing a bag to managing disappointment. The conversation mixes practical tips, short anecdotes and blunt takes about how much adults should step in — and when kids should learn to handle setbacks themselves.

If you get sick and cannot go to the show, tickets are sold out, or your classmates get invited somewhere and you do not, how do you handle these disappointments? Instead of jumping in to 'save the day,' let your kids come up with their own solutions, but make sure to affirm their feelings.

One recurring theme is the importance of letting children experience small consequences so they can develop problem-solving skills and emotional resilience. Several educators pointed out that some students expect immediate rescue rather than being asked to think through solutions.

Perhaps the biggest struggle I have seen with all my kids is not mastering something the first time. Some things are hard and take real effort. You have to practice, try again, keep pushing yourself, and not give up. Learn from your mistakes.

The same contributor shared a parenting anecdote: when their middle-schooler forgot running shorts and arrived at practice in khakis, they declined to leave work to bring clothes. The student ran in khakis and afterward never forgot her gear again — a practical lesson learned through consequence rather than intervention.

Other voices in the thread offered pointed observations about mixed messages: telling children they 'can be anything' but not expecting basic self-sufficiency can produce adults who lack routine skills. Some respondents urged parents to set clear expectations, teach routines, and allow children to solve minor problems on their own.

Practical examples from the discussion included simple adaptations — for instance, choosing shoes without laces for a child who hasn’t learned to tie yet — and straightforward parenting choices that prioritize learning over immediate convenience.

The tone across replies ranged from empathetic reminders that children develop at different paces to blunt calls for higher expectations. Many contributors emphasized balance: validate a child’s feelings, but resist rescuing them from every small mistake. Responses in the thread were edited for length and clarity.

Representative contributors: several Reddit users (handles included in the original thread) shared perspectives as teachers and parents, helping illustrate how this issue plays out in classrooms and homes.

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