Bullying has become a widespread and dangerous problem in schools, exacerbated by social media and gaps in legal protections. After losing their 17-year-old son to bullying, the authors helped pass New York’s Jack Reid Law, extending anti-bullying protections to independent schools and about 500,000 private-school students. The article argues that laws are necessary but insufficient: schools must teach kindness, respect and character, enforce consistent policies, and cultivate a culture where every student feels safe.
Beyond Laws: How Schools Can Prevent Bullying by Teaching Kindness, Respect and Character
If you would pursue every available treatment for a child’s physical illness, shouldn’t we try an emotional remedy for a different, equally dangerous problem in our schools? Beyond flu season, another contagion moves through hallways: bullying. While there is no medical vaccine, restoring kindness and character to school communities can protect students and, in some cases, save lives.
Bullying is one of the most damaging issues affecting students today and, tragically, can lead to loss of life.
Much public debate and policymaking in education have centered on academic recovery and whether American students are meeting benchmarks after the COVID-19 pandemic. Research shows pandemic disruptions harmed learning, and addressing that harm matters. Yet a narrow focus on test scores risks overlooking another critical shortfall: moral proficiency — students’ ability to treat one another with respect and empathy.
When schools do not teach kindness, respect and character intentionally, negative behaviors rush in to fill the gap. Bullying has become pervasive across classrooms nationwide. The data are stark: a Pew Research Center study released last year found nearly 60% of teens say bullying is common in their schools; one in five described it as extremely common. Other studies report that two in five students experienced bullying on school property, and nearly half have been victims of cyberbullying.
Three years ago, our family suffered the unthinkable: we lost our 17-year-old son to bullying. We sent a healthy, hopeful 16-year-old to a new school, eager to make friends. He was kind and civic-minded — qualities that, tragically, made him a target. Over a year, beginning with a school election, falsehoods spread in person and online and destroyed his reputation. He defended himself as long as he could, but the mistreatment followed him everywhere, and he died by suicide — unnecessarily and alone.
Elizabeth and William Reid with their son Jack. (Jack Reid Foundation)
"After his death, we learned many schools had no legal obligation to protect students from bullying. We became advocates so other families would not suffer as we did."
Our advocacy led to progress: in October, New York Governor Kathy Hochul signed the Jack Reid Law, which extends anti-bullying protections that apply in public schools to independent schools as well. A coalition of legislators, faith-based organizations and independent-school leaders helped secure the law, which means roughly 500,000 private-school students in New York now have clearer protections and a legal expectation that schools will investigate and respond when bullying is reported or observed.
But laws alone are not enough. Bullying thrives in cultures where character and kindness are not prized. Legal mandates can require action, but they cannot change the daily climate inside classrooms, cafeterias and sports fields. True prevention requires a schoolwide commitment to modeling and teaching respect, empathy and civility: from principals to teachers, coaches to cafeteria staff, and from parents to students.
What Schools Should Do
Schools should make the social and emotional development of students as important as academic achievement. Specific steps include clear anti-bullying policies that are enforced consistently, routine character education, restorative practices that repair harm, staff training on recognizing and responding to bullying, and active involvement from families and community partners.
Bullying is not an acceptable rite of passage. The notion that it "toughens kids up" is outdated and harmful. Today’s bullying is amplified by social media and can follow students home, undermining their ability to learn and thrive. How can a student learn algebra if they dread what might happen in the hallway?
Only seven states currently require anti-bullying protections that cover every child in every school sector. That leaves millions of private and parochial school students vulnerable. Extending protections and, more importantly, cultivating a school culture that prioritizes compassion will better fulfill schools’ mission to educate the whole child.
Kindness and bullying are both contagious. One costs nothing and enriches school life; the other can cost everything. Which will your school choose?
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