She Became a Mom via Surrogacy — The State Refused to Recognize Her for Two Years

Rachael Lang and her husband expected to start a family soon after their wedding. Nine months later, at 26, Lang was diagnosed with breast cancer. After treatment and freezing her eggs, the couple arranged for a close friend to serve as a gestational surrogate. Their daughter, Delaney, was born in 2023 — but the legal recognition of Lang as Delaney's mother took two years and significant expense.

Legal Hurdles After Birth

Although Lang and her husband were Delaney's biological parents, Michigan's laws at the time forced intended parents to adopt children born via surrogacy. Immediately after birth the newborn birth certificate was mailed to the surrogate, naming the surrogate and her husband as Delaney's legal parents. Lang said the couple could not make medical decisions for their newborn or add her to their insurance until they obtained guardianship.

Rachael Lang and her daughter Delaney Lang, with friend and gestational carrier Emily Murray Joseph.

"We were talking to our attorney on the day that she was born, when really, we should have been able to spend time with our newborn," Lang said.

The Personal Cost

The family faced thousands of dollars in legal fees, repeated delays, and regular home visits from Child Protective Services while the case was resolved. Lang described the experience as emotionally exhausting: constant worry that anyone might challenge their authority to care for their biological child and a loss of time and peace during Delaney's earliest months.

Bigger Picture: Outdated, Patchwork Parentage Laws

Advocates say Lang’s experience highlights a wider problem: inconsistent and outdated parentage statutes across U.S. states that fail to keep pace with modern family-building methods like IVF, donor conception and surrogacy. Patience Crozier, director of family advocacy at GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders, urges states to adopt modern frameworks such as the 2017 Uniform Parentage Act to protect children born through assisted reproduction.

(L-R): Stephanie Jones, Justin Gailitis, 3-year-old Leona Gailitis and 9-year-old David Gailitis. Jones' daughter Leona was born via surrogacy.

Mariam Shahab of The Surrogacy Foundation — who is a parent via surrogacy — said high-profile disputes underscore weaknesses in the system and strengthen calls for clearer, more consistent rules so families can build safely and predictably.

High-Profile Case That Amplified Concerns

A separate and highly publicized case involving surrogate McKenna West — who alleges she was asked to terminate a pregnancy after a prenatal diagnosis and later gave birth in Texas — has amplified national attention on parental rights in surrogacy. Although the intended parents reportedly have custody, West has sought parental rights to make medical decisions for the child. Experts call the case tragic and politicized, but note it is an outlier compared with most surrogacy arrangements, which proceed without dispute.

Rachael Lang and Alex Lang with their daughter Delaney Lang.

Language, Contracts and Protections

Language in contracts matters both emotionally and legally. Some advocates advise avoiding terms like "surrogate mother" in favor of "gestational carrier" to clarify that the birthing person is not the legal parent. Contracts and pre-birth court orders can prevent post-birth legal battles: for their second child, Lang’s family obtained a pre-birth order and a stronger, more detailed contract that includes life insurance for the carrier and reimbursement provisions.

Law Reform: Michigan and Beyond

Michigan decriminalized surrogacy and passed the Michigan Family Protection Act in 2024, creating clearer pathways for intended parents to secure legal recognition. But advocates and affected families say parentage laws remain a patchwork nationwide, and many states still lack robust, modern protections that reflect contemporary family-building practices.

What Families Want

For Lang and many others, the goal is simple: legal clarity from the start so children and parents have security and access to basic needs such as health coverage, medical decision-making and parental leave. "They deserve the security from the beginning," Lang said. "We just want, legally, for everyone to understand who the child is, who they belong to and for the child to understand where they belong."

Note: This article is based on reporting first published in USA TODAY and includes perspectives from legal advocates, family advocates and parents who have used surrogacy.