In the largest nongovernmental, confidential survey of parents of children under six, conducted Jan. 16–Feb. 2 and released in May, thousands of parents across the U.S. said they want more quality time with their children, higher wages, paid leave and flexible care and work arrangements. Nearly three in four respondents want more time with their kids, while 66% said higher hourly wages would make the biggest difference. The findings show that the strains parents face stem largely from external systems — workplace culture, childcare affordability and leave policy — and point to state and employer reforms as practical paths forward.
What Parents Really Want: More Time, Higher Pay and Flexible Care
According to KFF, more than 4 million school-age children, about 7% of those ages 5-18, live in a household with someone 65 or older in the United States.
As policy debates swirl in statehouses and Washington, a clear message emerges when you ask parents themselves: American parents of young children want more time. In early 2026 we surveyed parents and caregivers of children under six — across income levels, ages and genders — and asked a simple but revealing question: what do you want your life to look like?
Practical Answers From Thousands of Parents
The responses came from the largest nongovernmental, confidential survey of parents with young kids to date (fielded Jan. 16–Feb. 2; released in May). Thousands of open-ended answers were practical, specific and remarkably consistent: parents want more time for play and social connection, higher wages, paid leave after a child is born, and flexible work and care arrangements that can adapt as children grow.
“We only get one chance at life, and we risk missing out on important moments,” one New York mother wrote, echoing a sentiment heard often in the survey.
Key Findings
Nearly three in four respondents said they want more quality time with their children. At the same time, the national backdrop is sobering: U.S. fertility rates have been falling for almost two decades, reaching a record low of 1.6 births per woman in 2024. Childcare costs continue to climb — in 39 states the annual cost of childcare now exceeds the price of a year of public college — and costs are rising faster than inflation.
More parents are working than ever and nearly two-thirds report feeling burned out. Research links these stresses to adverse effects on children’s behavior and emotional development. When asked how difficult parenting is, most parents described it as challenging but not overwhelmingly negative: more than half called parenting "somewhat challenging" or "not very challenging," suggesting that external pressures — long work hours, unreliable childcare and lack of leave — create much of the strain.
KFF analysis finds about 6% of people age 65 or older, or 3.3 million people, lived in a household with a school-age child (ages 5-18) in 2018.
Time Off, Trust and Financial Security
Many parents want to be the primary caregiver in a child’s first year; yet an astonishing 15% took no time off at all after a child was born. Among those who took leave, most mothers and fathers wished they had more time. External barriers — long hours, second shifts, unreliable care, no paid leave — compound and create what the survey frames as a multiple-system failure rather than individual problems.
Two-thirds of parents identified higher hourly wages as the single most helpful change to achieve their preferred mix of leave, work and care. Employers and legislators both play roles: higher pay requires policy action and employer commitment, while workplace culture must shift to normalize flexibility, part-time options and true schedule control. In the survey, 85% of women reported wanting to work, but more than half would ideally have part-time or flexible schedules; roughly three in 10 fathers working full-time said they would like to work less.
Policy Progress and What’s Next
There are signs of movement at state and local levels. Virginia recently became the 14th state to pass paid family and medical leave. At least 20 states significantly increased childcare subsidy budgets for fiscal year 2026. New York city and state leaders are pursuing universal childcare — a policy that could remove one of the largest recurring expenses for families if implementation reflects parents’ needs.
But preferences vary: no single work, leave or childcare model was chosen by a majority of respondents, and preferences change over early childhood. That means there is no single policy fix. Progress depends on listening to families and building systems that sustain them: higher wages, accessible paid leave, quality affordable childcare and workplace flexibility that lets parents be present for the moments that matter.
Authors: Amira Boland is chief of staff at New America's New Practice Lab, and Alyson Silkowski is a senior policy adviser there. The New Practice Lab is nonpartisan and focuses on improving family economic security and well-being by strengthening the link between government and the people it serves.
Help us improve.
