Choose Pride, Not Fear: Teaching Jewish Children To Live Openly

Earlier this year, a friend of mine spent a morning in a Jewish cemetery in Cincinnati with 24 other men, placing Holocaust memorial markers and tending the soil around gravestones. Both of his parents were survivors of the Holocaust. He was honoring those who came before him and helping to keep their memory visible for future visitors.

A Question for the New Year

I have returned to that morning often because it helps answer a question I am carrying as this Jewish year ends: What do we want the next generation to see us do?

For many Jews today, being visibly Jewish has become a more complicated decision. In its 2025 national survey of American Jews, the American Jewish Committee (AJC) reported that 55% of respondents avoided at least one behavior out of fear of antisemitism — for example, publicly identifying as Jewish, attending certain places or events, or posting Jewish-identifying content online.

I understand those choices. I do not want fear to be the lesson we hand our children. Nor do I want them to learn that feeling threatened should make our world smaller.

Each year, Jewish tradition asks us to take stock: How did we live? Where did we fall short? What needs repair? What will we do differently?

At the dinner that opened the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati's year, every place setting in a room of more than 200 people had a card with one prompt: write one thing you will do in the coming year to live your values, support your community, or make something better — and then say it out loud. One simple question from that evening has stayed with me: What can I do right now?

With war, division, inequality, antisemitism, and rapid technological change around us, problems can feel too large for any single person to affect. But our children are watching. They notice whether we retreat or engage, whether we speak up when something is wrong, whether we make room for someone new, and whether our concern extends beyond people who look like us, pray like us, or live like us. They learn from what we do.

Our board chair shared that years ago someone invited her to get involved; her commitment this year was simple: invite one person in. Most of what we pass on happens that way — one small choice at a time.

On my card I wrote a single word: pride. I want children to grow up around adults who are comfortable being who they are, openly and without apology. For me, that includes being visibly Jewish. I also want them to see that pride in our identity does not require pulling away from others — fear does not have to make our world smaller.

Research shows there is broad agreement that antisemitism is a societal problem. In AJC's 2024 survey of U.S. adults, nine in ten respondents said antisemitism affects society as a whole and that everyone shares responsibility for combating it. Still, it can take only a few voices to make someone wonder whether it is safer to hide who they are. The harder question is what each of us will actually do about it.

Concrete Choices Children Can Watch

• Be visible when hiding would feel easier — show pride in identity without apology.
• Speak up when someone else faces prejudice — model allyship and courage.
• Stay connected — maintain relationships and community even when fear tempts us to withdraw.
• Invite others in — make space for new people and perspectives in our institutions and homes.

As Yom Kippur approaches, I carry this question into the new year: What kind of person do I want to be? Write down one thing you will do. Say it out loud. Then do it — and let someone younger see you live it. What the next generation learns from us is not only what we tell them; it is what they watch us do.

Danielle V. Minson is CEO of the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati.