Traditional Gender Roles Won’t Deliver the Families Men Say They Want

For years public debate about falling birth rates has focused almost entirely on women — the obstacles they face to having children, the difficulty of balancing work and family, and whether feminism has changed the calculus of family life. Less attention has been paid to men: their attitudes about gender, caregiving and relationships, and how those attitudes shape partnership and fertility.

Why Men’s Views Matter

We have far less systematic data on men than on women, yet polls and political debates show men's views influence both public discourse and policy. Recent polling from The 19th News finds American men are more likely than women to see declining birth rates as a problem and to favor a return to traditional gender roles — nearly 60% of men versus roughly 40% of women, with 87% of Republican men supporting the idea. Those attitudes are being echoed in policy proposals and cultural debates about the role of women in society.

What The Evidence Shows

Comparative research suggests gender equality and supportive family policies can improve prospects for family formation. In countries where women remain expected to do the majority of domestic work and face workplace penalties for motherhood, fertility rates have collapsed: South Korea’s birth rate fell to 0.75 children per woman in 2024 and Japan’s to about 1.15. Southern European countries with strong traditional norms — Italy, Spain and Greece — have fertility between roughly 1.1 and 1.3.

A 2025 study of more than 40 European countries found that women increasingly want men to share childcare and housework equally, while men’s attitudes about unpaid domestic labor have changed little. Where the attitude gap is widest, both fertility and female employment tend to be lower. Giulia Briselli, a co-author of that study, notes that men not recognizing their share in household work does affect women’s childbearing choices.

At the same time, the relationship is not simply mechanical. Men today spend more time on childcare and housework than previous generations, but fertility has continued to fall. Some demographers, like Lyman Stone, warn that merely pressuring men to log more hours at home won’t restore birth rates. What appears to matter most is perceived fairness: whether women view the household division as legitimate and reciprocal, not whether men simply do chores as favors.

Policy Lessons From the Nordics

Nordic countries that restructured parental leave, expanded affordable childcare and promoted workplace flexibility that encourages men to take caregiving roles tend to have higher fertility (around 1.4–1.6) than many peers. In Norway, Iceland and Sweden, fathers who used parental leave were more likely to have partners who welcomed having a second child. Equality is not a magic bullet, but doubling down on traditional roles has not produced better outcomes.

Masculinity, Purpose, And Partnership

Scholars and commentators debate whether masculinity can be redefined to include caregiving and emotional engagement. Critics argue such reshaping risks preserving male privilege in new clothing; supporters say redefining masculinity can relieve men’s distress and make partnerships more durable. Daniel Cox of the American Enterprise Institute suggests "relational masculinity" — finding meaning in protecting and providing for loved ones — may help men feel needed without reverting to rigid hierarchies.

“If caregiving is seen as overly feminine work that diminishes masculinity, men will resist it.”

Gaps In Research

Many demographers agree this area is understudied. Trude Lappegård and Giulia Briselli both call for more research into how men feel about household obligations and the emotional stakes of masculinity. Without this knowledge, policymakers and advocates will be less able to design policies that support both gender equality and family formation.

Conclusion

Men’s attitudes matter for partnership formation and fertility. The evidence suggests that fair sharing of domestic labor, supportive policies like parental leave and childcare, and cultural shifts in what it means to be a man can all contribute to stronger partnerships. Women are not returning to 1950s roles; to build families together, societies must address what men want and need as well as what women do.